If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize