Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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