two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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