The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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