I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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