My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize