actually, I'm a sock model
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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