I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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