Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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