it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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