he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
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I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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