im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize