I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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