that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize