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Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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