We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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