Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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