We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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