Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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