I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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