I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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