I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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