What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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