Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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