Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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