I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize