eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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