i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize