Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
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Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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