To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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