My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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