Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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