i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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