His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize