The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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