I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize