I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize