Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize