This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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