Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize