an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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