so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize