Will you blow on my dice?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize