I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize