I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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