I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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