can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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