okay pat passed out under dana's car
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
try to milk me bitch
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