oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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