I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize